{"id":4312,"date":"2020-02-26T09:00:40","date_gmt":"2020-02-26T09:00:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/imohub.org.uk\/?p=4312"},"modified":"2023-02-14T12:46:36","modified_gmt":"2023-02-14T12:46:36","slug":"children-arent-leaving-care-care-is-leaving-them","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.childrenscommissioner.gov.uk\/imo\/your-stories\/children-arent-leaving-care-care-is-leaving-them\/","title":{"rendered":"Children aren\u2019t leaving care, care is leaving them"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\n

As someone who grew up in care, I\u2019m used to people telling me they have low expectations for me or those around me. In fact, my care records are a catalogue of comments turning my behaviour into problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I didn\u2019t always notice it at the time, but when I read my care records and noticed the nonchalance with which my foster carer used phrases such as \u201cacts smart\u201d and \u201casks too many questions\u201d and a variety of others which turned what my school teacher described as a \u201cpassion for learning\u201d into a problem. It wasn\u2019t always said as clearly as this. They didn\u2019t ever really say it outright but it was felt. Lots of things told me that the sky was not the limit. That the adults around me didn\u2019t dream particularly big for me. From the forms about my progress in life where there was no option for saying I was at university, to the teacher who laughed when I said I wanted to be an author. It\u2019s something I was keenly aware of during my time in care. I remember being asked to tell social workers how I felt using smiley\/sad faces rather than being expected to convey how I felt in words. I understand that some young people benefit from this approach. It wasn\u2019t a person-centered approach though, it felt like a box-ticking exercise.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Feeling like those around you have low expectations isn\u2019t restricted to my experience. It’s quite common<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s easy then, to see how those low expectations follow care-experienced people throughout their lives and how we, at times, can come to have low expectations for ourselves and what we\u2019re worthy of. When your life is made of broken promises I understand why we as a group can celebrate even the smallest things in life. The smallest things in life, seem to be what care-experienced people are routinely offered and expected to celebrate. When I see each new initiative, I usually keep my head down and let it pass. After all, if someone is able to carry their belongings in a nylon bag rather than a plastic one, that\u2019s an improvement, isn\u2019t it? If you\u2019re expecting to be alone on Christmas Day, the local authority-organised \u201cChristmas Lunch\u201d on the 22nd of December could take the sting out of the loneliness of the day. I can put my head down and ignore all of these things that people do to abate the symptoms of the systematic oppression that comes with being Care Experienced. The reason I keep my head down harks back to my time in care. I don\u2019t want to seem ungrateful that someone is trying to patch over the problematic areas. I don\u2019t want to upset the people with good intentions who have done something<\/p>\n\n\n\n

On the other hand, I believe that continuing to let things like this pass will ultimately stand in the way of progress and mean people only ever try and fix what\u2019s in front of them. We can only patch a puncture for so long before we have to replace the tire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Today, a straw broke the camel\u2019s back. Dorset Healthcare launched its \u201cDorset New Adults Kit\u201d, billed by Wessex FM as a \u201csurvival kit\u201d for \u201cvulnerable teenagers\u201d. The dictionary defines a survival kit as \u201ca package of basic tools and supplies prepared in advance as an aid to survival in an emergency\u201d. The kit contains \u201ca box full of essentials that will help them in adult life\u201d. The essentials it contains are foodstuff, vitamins, hygiene\/health products, blankets and information signposting them to a range of support. It is intended as a way to stop those with experience of care from being so \u201creliant\u201d on health and social care services. Whilst this sounds like it could prove useful, I struggle to see why it\u2019s something to celebrate. In each news item about the box, we can plainly see that it contains items with low nutritional value such as Koka Noodles. Care-experienced people already have enough issues with food, as a veteran of a Scotch Pie and Beans every day of the week for a month, I should know. It\u2019s such a low expectation that those \u201cleaving care\u201d are worth what amounts to a packet of instant noodles and a sack of toiletries.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This has to stop. Children aren\u2019t leaving care, care is leaving them.<\/strong> A decision is made by a human being that once they reach a certain age, they have support cut off and that they should move as \u201cvulnerable teenagers\u201d into the \u201cadult\u201d world. In fact, the very same local authorities celebrating initiatives like this are the same ones that render the decision that means they have to offer a box.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That isn\u2019t the worst of it. The absolute worst part of all of this for me is when care-experienced people are drafted in to give a supporting comment and to design the box that the system has decided has to happen. In one article, a woman with experience of care is quoted as saying:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt can be really scary leaving care and living on your own. The DNA box is a real helping hand. I\u2019d recommend the box to any young person about to leave care \u2014 it really is like a big hug on your first night alone.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A box with Koka Noodles and some basic toiletries is not a big hug. That \u201cbig hug\u201d was taken away by the system because the person they have given the box to has reached a cut off age. An age at which, they understand they aren\u2019t prepared to live alone, or they wouldn\u2019t be giving them a box, but an age which the system tells them to cut the cord and jettison them into an unforgiving world. If you work in social work, for a care provider or some other area of the \u201ccare system\u201d please, make a human decision and stop celebrating these initiatives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We need to make a decision to stop celebrating what is essentially failure and instead turn our attention to transforming the system.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Independent Care Review in Scotland\u2019s report, \u201cFollow the Money\u201d, speaks about the human economic cost of the care system\u2019s failures. They tell us that the more money we spend now, the less we spend later. If we work to lessen the negative lifelong impact of care now, then that\u2019s what solves the over-reliance on health and social care services. Not instant noodles. Everyone knows that the current provision is not working and we should do everything we can do support care-experienced people to survive. We should not, however, celebrate the bare minimum. We should be ashamed that it has come to giving people boxes with instant noodles and multivitamins and telling them it\u2019s a hug.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This article was written by Kenneth Murray and originally appeared on Medium<\/a>, You can find him on Twitter @kenny_murray<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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