21st October 2022

Family Review: Family Profiles adoption

This National Adoption Week we are committed to celebrating all adoptive families and raising awareness of their needs.

Earlier this week we highlighted the experiences of adoptive families that spoke to us during the Family Review. Today we are publishing more Family Profiles that shed light on some of the specific needs that families are supporting their adopted children with.  You can read about families experience of identifying their children’s and accessing support in their own words below:

​ ​ I am a married mother of an adopted 8-year-old boy. I lost two children to stillbirth and miscarriage. ​ It is challenging having to parent therapeutically all the time, and trying to get an EHC plan that includes funding for everything necessary. ​ We have access to a specialist occupational therapist who deals with his sensory processing disorder, but we have to travel 70 miles each way once a fortnight for input, which is not provided through the EHC process. ​ Overall, I feel lucky that we have a great occupational therapist, good post-adoption support, and a strong professional network. It also helps that I work in the same field, so I know how to push for the right support. ​ My experiences have helped me identify other children who I work with who probably have sensory processing difficulties and how to deal with these.

I am a married mother of two adopted daughters aged 9 and 10.​ Our main challenges has been the aggressive behaviour of the children due to early life trauma and neurodiversity. We also found schools to be dismissive of the challenges and feeling like it was our fault.​ We nearly reached breaking point - I was unsure if my husband would try to kill himself, leave us or insist on adoption disruption. It was dreadful, I cannot really express how difficult it was for all four of us. ​ Support from a different (more understanding/ trauma informed) school, having EHCPs for the children, therapy for us as adults and the kids and support from social care has totally turned this around. We have an incredible, calm, loving and supportive family unit now.​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​

I am a married mother to two adopted 10-year-olds boys and we live with my wife. ​ We have a close bond and enjoy each other’s company and personalities; we are very loving and affectionate and value time together as a family unit. ​ We have experienced huge difficulties which affect the whole family due to early childhood and pre-natal trauma to both children pre- adoption. For example, attachment disorder and ADHD symptoms. There has been child to parent violence during meltdowns which the children have no control over. Furniture and household objects are regularly broken and have to be replaced. The other child gets scared when the sibling is in meltdown. ​ Our youngest child is unable to form friendships with similar aged children leading to huge lack of self-esteem. These challenges create strain on the family unit and relationships within. It’s been ongoing for a number of years now. ​ This has huge negative impacts for children as they cannot control their anger and emotions. This leads to them breaking their own things and harming the adults. There is also a negative impact on adults trying to help children control emotions whilst being abused physically and verbally by children. Siblings see behaviour of each other, and this leads them into disregulation.​ We have access to the Adoption Support Fund providing therapy for the children and adults. Not fixed at all but does help to deal with it on an ongoing basis. Previously supported by social services by attending support groups run by them, however these no longer happen since the regionalisation of the adoption service. ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​